SELF-STUDY

Be Brief—Don’t Say the Same Thing Twice

Brevity is a hallmark of good writing. Try to express an idea clearly in the minimum number of necessary words. One way to do this is avoid redundancy. In writing, redundancy refers to words or expressions that add nothing to the meaning you wish to convey. Such expressions include tautological expressions. In tautological expressions, words within an expression have similar meanings, and therefore, the same idea is being expressed twice. Consider the following examples. They are tautological, yet they often appear in scientific writing. Can you see how they might amuse the reader?

  • blue in color
  • round in shape
  • sweet-tasting
  • smooth-textured
  • true facts
  • final outcomes
  • skin rash
  • 10 am in the morning
  • therapeutical treatment
  • past history of
  • combine together
  • repeat again
  • plan in advance
  • still remains
  • elongate in length
  • cell color of hemocytes

Reduce the number of words, and avoid amusing your reader for the wrong reasons, by revising the expressions as follows:

  • blue
  • round
  • sweet
  • smooth
  • facts
  • outcomes
  • rash
  •  
  • 10 am (or, 10 o’clock in the morning)
  • treatment (or, therapy)
  • history of
  • combine
  • repeat
  • plan
  • remains (or, is still)
  • elongate
  • color of hemocytes (‘hemocytes’ means blood cells, so repeating ‘cell’ is a redundancy)

YOU TRY!

Revise the following sentences by deleting any redundant/tautological expressions.

1.
A cross section of the enucleated eye showed a black-colored choroidal lesion with small cord-like white areas (Fig. 3).
2.
(subheading) Cellular proliferation of HaCaT control and HaCaT-X cells in 10% serum conditions
3.
Past former smokers were defined as those who had smoked for at least 1 year.
4.
Severe exacerbation should be evaluated by combining the three categories (corticosteroid usage, unscheduled visit, and hospitalization) together.
5.
Nucleoside transporters expressed in the intestinal tract and erythrocyte cell membrane can be factors affecting X absorption.
6.
Patients with high myopia (axial length of more than 26.5 mm) or with past histories of retinal vein occlusion or uveitis were excluded.
7.
The incision below the inguinal crease was fusiform-shaped to include the skin overlying the malignant node.
8.
However, how X regulates tumor progression still remains largely unknown.
9.
X#9 and X#10 cells formed significantly smaller-sized tumors than did control X cells.
10.
X is a multifunctional cytokine that regulates the cell growth, cell differentiation, cell motility, apoptosis, and matrix protein production of a number of cell types.
11.
First, presence of a glaucomatous optic disc appearance and diffuse atrophy was determined by consensus agreement between the 2 glaucoma specialists (X.X. and Y.Y.) in a masked fashion.
12.
Cytokine levels of interleukin-6 (IL-6) and IL-8 in these supernatants were measured by an enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay (ELISA), according to the manufacturer’s instructions.
13.
(subheading) Total cell number of control X-, Yb-, and ΔYb-expressing HaCaT cells
14.
We investigated the recovery rate from X-induced DUES after switching therapy treatment to Y.
15.
(subheading) Previous treatment history with EGFR-TKIs

ANSWERS

1.
A cross section of the enucleated eye showed a black choroidal lesion with small cord-like white areas (Fig. 3).
(The reader understands that ‘black’ is a color, so ‘black-colored’ is a tautology.)
2.
Proliferation of HaCaT control and HaCaT-X cells in 10% serum conditions
(The ‘proliferation’ in this subheading is of ‘HaCaT control and HaCaT-X cells,’ so ‘cellular proliferation’ is a tautology.)
3.
Past smokers were defined as those who had smoked for at least 1 year.
Or
Former smokers were defined as those who had smoked for at least 1 year.
(Because ‘past’ and ‘former’ are similar in meaning, ‘past former’ is a tautology. Use one or the other word.)
4.
Severe exacerbation should be evaluated by combining the three categories (corticosteroid usage, unscheduled visit, and hospitalization).
(Because ‘combine’ has the meaning of ‘bring together,’ ‘combine together’ is a tautology.)
5.
Nucleoside transporters expressed in the intestinal tract and erythrocyte membrane can be factors affecting X absorption.
(Because ‘erythrocyte’ literally means ‘red cell,’ repeating the idea of cell in ‘erythocyte cell membrane’ is a tautology.)
6.
Patients with high myopia (axial length of more than 26.5 mm) or with histories of retinal vein occlusion or uveitis were excluded.
(Because ‘history’ refers to something that occurred in the past, ‘past histories’ is a tautology.)
7.
The incision below the inguinal crease was fusiform to include the skin overlying the malignant node.
(Literally, ‘fusiform’ means ‘spindle-shaped’; therefore, it is a tautology to repeat ‘shaped’ in ‘fusiform-shaped.’)
8.
However, how X regulates tumor progression remains largely unknown.
Or
However, how X regulates tumor progression is still largely unknown.
(The meaning of ‘remain’ is ‘be still in the same condition’; therefore, ‘still remains’ is a tautology. Although ‘remains’ and ‘is still’ are both possible revisions, the verb ‘to remain’ is stronger than ‘to be,’ so ‘remains’ is the preferable revision.)
9.
X#9 and X#10 cells formed significantly smaller tumors than did control X cells.
(Since ‘smaller’ is clearly understood to refer to size, adding ‘-sized’ is a redundancy.)
10.
X is a multifunctional cytokine that regulates the growth, differentiation, motility, apoptosis, and matrix protein production of a number of cell types.
(The use of ‘cell growth,’ ‘cell differentiation,’ and ‘cell motility’ is not only repetitive but also redundant given that the prepositional phrase ‘of a number of cell types’ indicates that ‘growth,’ ‘differentiation,’ and ‘motility’ are all cellular.)
11.
First, presence of a glaucomatous optic disc appearance and diffuse atrophy was determined by consensus between the 2 glaucoma specialists (X.X. and Y.Y.) in a masked fashion.
Or
First, presence of a glaucomatous optic disc appearance and diffuse atrophy was determined by agreement between the 2 glaucoma specialists (X.X. and Y.Y.) in a masked fashion.
(Because ‘consensus’ and ‘agreement’ mean basically the same thing, ‘consensus agreement’ is a tautological expression. Use one or the other word.)
12.
Levels of interleukin-6 (IL-6) and IL-8 in these supernatants were measured by an enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay (ELISA), according to the manufacturer’s instructions.
(Because ‘IL-6’ and ‘IL-8’ are cytokines, it is a redundancy to repeat the idea in ‘Cytokine levels of interleukin 6 (IL-6) and IL-8.’)
13.
Total number of control X-, Yb-, and ΔYb-expressing HaCaT cells
(It is redundant to repeat ‘cell’ in ‘cell number’ with ‘HaCaT cells’.)
14.
We investigated the recovery rate from X-induced DUES after switching treatment to Y.
Or
We investigated the recovery rate from X-induced DUES after switching therapy to Y.
(Because ‘therapy’ and ‘treatment’ mean the same thing, ‘therapy treatment’ is a tautological expression. Use one or the other word.)
15.
Previous treatment with EGFR-TKIs
Or
Treatment history with EGFR-TKIs
(Because ‘history’ refers to something that occurred previously, ‘previous … history’ is a tautology.)